Spy Games
by BetterinTexas
Summary: A teenager recruited by her uncle to undertake a dangerous undercover mission. Her target? Edward Cullen and his family. The goal? Find out everything she can about the Cullens including whether or not they are aliens or just immortal cultists who love golden contacts. Let the games begin.
1. Chapter 1

Do not own Twilight.

Okay you guys wanted more Twilight fanfic? I'm writing a new story that is complete crack comedy that cannot be taken seriously by even myself. Still the folks on my site seem to think it is funny as hell and it has been fun writing it. I think I am up to chapter 5 on my site. It follows the plot of Twilight, the book or movie depending on which one I feel like using. This story will be told in Bella's point of view. It's a bit different explanation as to why Bella was as observant as she was when she came to Forks. This is purely me being stupid. Don't expect much in the way of plot or even updating. I have 4 stories going on right now plus two I'm editing but I will update this when I have the itch to. Chasing Bella will be put here in entirety once I finish it on my site and Blood and Steel will be posted here as I update it. I think both stories have about 4 to 6 chapters left. My two originals probably have four or five chapters left as well. Please don't take this story to seriously. If you are wondering the characters of Jack Webb, who most of you have met before, Sasha and his daughter Arial are the central characters in one of my originals, Out of Darkness. These are basically the same characters only Arial is 17 instead of twelve. Enjoy and Merry Christmas. If you want to read ahead the address for the site is on my profile. Right now we have over thirty authors of original and fanfiction and over sixty stories I believe in fandoms some I have never even heard of, but am becoming a fan of. Plus a lot of you are members there and I want to thank you. 800 members in three months? You guys are too good to me and so are my friends who are writing there. Happy Holidays and here is to seeing what kind of hell we can raise in 2015.

Chapter 1

God I loved the feel of the sun on my body. I loved this pool. I loved this tanning chair and I definitely love the blonde who just winked at me.

Damn she has a nice ass. She must be 21 or 22. Long wavy hair, perky breasts, long legs, plump lips and a cute tight little ass. I doubt she was gay, probably bi. Either way worked for me as long as she didn't try to bring a boyfriend into it. I would probably have to use my fake ID. Being a lesbian at 17 sucks but in college I planned to be a kid in a candy store on a shopping spree.

I just had two more years to go, Junior and Senior year.

As an added bonus, Renee's love of all things penis has gotten her boy toy Phil to move us to Florida. Not many lesbians in Phoenix, at least the women I liked. I couldn't stand butch. I mean I like women, not women who want to be guys. Call it personal taste, literally in this case.

Florida was going to be a blast and I couldn't wait. I had a great tan but Florida would take it to another level.

"Hey kid." A voice from behind me called.

There is my favorite guy.

"Uncle Jack!"

Uncle Jack was Renee's step brother. He used to be in some sort of special ops team but retired four years ago. He married a hot woman named Sasha and has been living with his daughter Arial in Phoenix for the past three years. I wasn't sure what he did for a living now but he must have been well off considering what he drove and the house they lived in. I'm also pretty sure he helps Renee pay for our condo but who am I to judge. Arial in addition to being my cousin was my best and only straight friend.

"Where is Arial? Is she going to lay out with me? You should take a load off. The ass around this place is amazing."

"Jesus Bella, still as shy as ever."

"What can I say? I'm a girl who knows what she wants, and right now that blonde is looking pretty good."

"Arial isn't here. She is shopping. I just stopped in to say hi to your Mom and …"

"Cut the crap Jack. You never stop by just to say hi to Renee. What's up?"

Jack was a great guy but not much in the way of touchy feely family stuff. He liked me because ever since he got out of the military he had trained Arial and I. Trained us in just about everything. Under his tutelage I was a pretty fierce individual. I could kick some serious ass.

"I need your help."

"Sure." I told him immediately. I mean this was the guy who taught me to shoot automatic weapons when I was 14. How could I say no?

"I need you to move in with your father."

"No."

So that was how I could say no.

"Just hear me out."

"Hell no. I'm going to Florida. We are moving next month. I have had to listen to Renee and Phil fucking for months to get something out of this deal. You know she isn't exactly quiet. No, Florida and me equals good times."

"You won't even listen to me?"

"Forks? Are you out of your damn mind? I won't even meet Charlie there anymore. I make him spend his two weeks with me mandated by the courts, in California. Have you ever been to Forks? Ever even heard of it Jack?"

"I thought it was Uncle Jack?"

"It is when you aren't under the influence of crack."

"I have been to Forks. I've been working there recently. I need your help. You still want to be in the CIA one day right?"

He had my attention.

"Maybe." I said cautiously.

"How would you like college paid for? Completely. No student loans, no book expenses, housing at any apartment complex you want, and go to any college. I could get you into Harvard, Yale, USC if you want to party more. Anywhere you want to go, plus a guaranteed assignment to the CIA after you graduate. Or … my employer."

"You are going to pay for my college Uncle Jack?"

"Not me. My employer."

"Who is your employer?"

"I can't tell you unless you agree to help me. If you agree to help me you will have to sign several secrecy agreements that will pretty much put you under a prison for life if you tell anyone anything."

"Damn, that sounds like a hell of a deal. Why me?"

"I need a teenage girl and you are the only one who can do this. The only one with the skills needed and fortunately an in at Forks High School."

"What about Arial?"

If he says because she is his daughter and I only want to risk your life, I am going to rip his balls off.

"Because of your recent all nighter with my precious baby and the fake ID I confiscated from her, the tattoo on her back and the eyebrow and tongue piercings won't go well with the assignment."

He was still a little irritated.

"I got my tongue pierced too." I pointed out.

"Yes but you didn't get a grim reaper tattoo on your lower back surrounded by a pink heart." Jack fairly pointed out.

"I thought the artist did great work." I countered.

"Whether he did or didn't she now doesn't qualify. I need a Mary Sue. A girl next door. An untattooed innocent teenage girl in that high school who can stay below the radar while standing out at the same time. I need someone who could catch the eye of a certain someone who may be very dangerous and act like a perpetual damsel in distress. I need her to cry out to be taken care of. Shy, clumsy, withdrawn and quiet."

"And you think I am that type of person?" I asked, moving my body slightly so I could kick him in the balls.

"No, you could be that person. Take the tongue ring out, stop wearing skin tight clothes and grow your hair out and we could have something here. Plus you are the police chief's daughter so no one will think twice about you moving to the town."

"Like I said before, I'll take the student loans if it means I don't have to move there."

"Look, you want to be CIA? Think of this as an actual undercover assignment for intelligence gathering. That is exactly what it is."

Damn it.

That did sound appealing.

"You won't be without backup. I will be there and Sasha will be there."

"Sasha will be there?" This may be interesting.

"Yes." Jack said rolling his eyes.

"I'll do it if you let me have sex with her."

"You are not going to have sex with my wife Bella. She isn't gay." Jack argued…again. Seems like we have this discussion all the time.

"You give her the okay and let me worry about the not being gay part." I was good at seduction. For her I would become good. I mean the woman had a body to kill for.

"No. College and expenses paid for, guaranteed job that you have always said you wanted after college, and you live two years in Forks, maybe less if you can get the information we need."

"So there is a terrorist cell at Forks High School?" I asked doubtfully.

"Not terrorists. We aren't sure exactly what they are. That is where you come in."

"That sounds safe. Glad to know I am expendable to my former favorite extended relative."

Asshole.

"Look if you don't want in or you don't have the guts I understand. I just thought … nevermind. I'm sure I can find a girl in the agency that looks young enough to pass for a 17 year old …"

"I don't have the guts?! You won't tell me a damn thing. What kind of bullshit is this?"

"Does your mother know you talk like this?"

"Who the hell do you think taught me?" I picked up a little from him as well.

"Look I can't tell you until you agree to help and sign the secrecy agreements. You will be an official employee and then I can tell you everything you need to know."

"An official CIA employee?" I asked to make certain. That would look impressive on the college applications.

"No. I told you I can't tell you."

"Then not no but hell no."

"Fine but you better keep this to yourself. You will be an employee of an agency called Majestic 12. Officially we don't exist. We investigate …" he whispered before I interrupted him loudly.

"UFOs? That Majestic 12?" I asked, unable to hold in a laugh. Oh this was too good.

"Don't laugh. What people have heard in conspiracy theories and what we do are actually two different things."

"So you don't investigate aliens?"

Jack paused for a moment.

"Yeah that's what I thought. There are aliens in Forks high? Bullshit. You seriously need to lay off the weed, Jack. Do Arial and Sasha know about your 'job'?"

"Arial doesn't. Sasha is also in the agency. As far as aliens Bella I don't know what these people are. I need you. Now are you in or not? I can tell you everything after you agree."

God I wanted to go to Florida. So many beaches, so many thongs.

"I'll be with you the whole time. Sasha also and if I can't be there then Dan will be."

"Dan Hawk? Arial's supposed bodyguard? You have any idea how easy it is for the two of us to sneak away from him? However much you are paying him is too much."

Plus his constant presence and appearance made it damn near impossible for her to get laid. Poor kid. Poor, poor, virgin kid.

"Okay look, I can play back and forth with you all day but I don't have the time. I need to know if you are in or not."

"Has Renee agreed to this?"

"Renee can't know. You are going to have to tell her you want to move with Charlie so she can have alone time with this Phil guy."

"Fuck that! I have raised that woman for 17 years. I'm finally getting something good out of it and you want me to leave? Besides she will never agree to let me move to Forks."

My mother loved me.

"If you ask her and she agrees would you be on board?" he asked.

"Sure. If Renee says I can go live with Charlie and not put up a fight then I will be your secret agent, Uncle Jack. But it isn't happening."

An hour later I was in the back of a van with Jack while Sasha drove.

"I can't believe that bitch didn't have a problem with it." I whispered to myself.

"Yep, but don't worry, you will be in Phoenix for another couple months. We have a lot to do. Your hair is way too short for this guy. I suppose shoulder length is okay but it is probably going to need to be a lot longer. You also need to get rid of the highlights. You need to get the tongue ring out. Your tan is going to be a problem too."

"My tan?!"

"Yeah you are going to want to be pale. I need shy, slightly nerdy and clumsy, not hot, bad ass swimsuit model."

"At least you admit I'm hot. So how am I supposed to get rid of the tan? I do live in Phoenix."

"How about instead of tanning lotion you use sun block instead? Also stay inside as much as possible. If your hair won't grow fast enough Sasha can put extensions in but I think only a few more inches will be alright. We also have to work on your wardrobe."

"My wardrobe is hot."

"Exactly. You need to be more … I don't know…less. Layers of shirts, old jeans, sneakers, no high heels or stiletto boots. I need you to look …"

"Like a lesbian?" I asked. "Because I am and I don't dress like that. Have you always stereotyped people Uncle Jack? Has he Sasha?"

"Pretty much. I think his days in the military made him narrow minded."

"How do you put up with him Sasha?"

"He is great in bed."

"Damn it Sasha, stop saying that."

"So you aren't good in bed?" I asked him, smirking.

"Let's focus. Sign these. You can read them if you want but they basically say don't talk about this ever, outside of the team."

I looked them over.

Wow.

Serious stuff.

"I think you are missing one Jack."

"What am I missing?"

"The contract that promises me everything you promised me. I need details, how much I get per month in spending money, how much the government is willing to pay for my living quarters, etc. etc. I'm not living in a dump. I will also need a car. A very nice and fast one. I'm thinking something in red without a top."

"Vicious girl, aren't you Bella?"

"I'm a capitalist. It's the American way." I pointed out. An alien hunting soldier like he is should appreciate this.

"I'll have it to you by the end of the week. Just sign the agreements first so I can tell you about this op."

I signed his fucking agreements. Like I would ever tell anyone I dressed the way he wanted me to dress to begin with.

"Okay, this first started when the NSA was searching bank accounts and tax records looking for terrorist cells. A discrepancy showed up. Not a large one but enough to have an accountant look farther into it. Tax records for an individual named Carlisle Cullen. He is a doctor in Forks. Should be small time. Problem is the more he looked the more accounts this guy unraveled. Turns out Dr. Cullen has literally billions of dollars. Over a hundred billion actually."

"I could go straight for that."

I probably couldn't but I would do a hell of a job pretending.

"Yeah so that triggered an IRS investigation."

"So how did you get involved?"

"The IRS turned it to the CIA and the director of the CIA gave it to us after it was discovered that some of these accounts were fed from older accounts that were fed from older accounts and…"

"I get it Jack. The accounts are old. How old is Dr. Cullen?"

"34."

"And how far back do these records go?" I asked, hoping he would get to the point.

"About 264 years."

Oh shit.

"So its family money passed down through the generations. Big deal."

"Yeah except he has a wife and five adopted teenagers living with him. These are their names. This Carlisle Cullen has been using fake medical licenses and fake identities through the years but it is always him and these people. They are always teenager and he and his wife always use the same name or variation of it. It's like a string on a sweater, Bella. Once you find a frayed end you pull and it keeps unraveling."

So I am supposed to believe that these people are what? Immortal? You have been sniffing the space fumes a little too long Jack."

"I have pictures."

"You have pictures?"

"Yep. Every high school these kids go to they always miss picture day and let me tell you they have gone to a lot of high schools. Always three start as sophomores and two start as juniors. Despite missing picture days there are yearbook photos where they are in the background. Recently there have been archival video footages of them attending a high school in Wyoming before attending Forks."

"Where did you get these pictures?" I asked, looking at what appeared to be a recent set.A

"This investigation has gone on for a year. We also have recent pictures when I was in Forks."

Sasha cleared her throat.

"We. When we were in Forks."

"So why don't you keep spying on them?"

"Because we think one of them, the only single kid in the group, this Edward Cullen kid, can read minds."

I tried not to laugh. I really did.

Soon I had snot running out of my nose from laughing so hard. I couldn't breathe.

Once I settled down I met the eyes of my very annoyed uncle.

"You done?" he asked.

"Yep, all done." I told him trying to hold a straight face.

"So why … why do you think he is a psychic?"

"Sasha tried to get close to him. She is very, very good at being quiet. Still he knew someone was there. She barely got in the car in time before he was on the road looking for her. She caught him in her rearview mirror. He had been 500 yards away when he first noticed something was wrong."

"Sasha?"

"Yes Bella?"

"You are good at being quiet? What the hell does that mean?"

"We can talk about it later. Listen to your uncle Jack."

"Sasha?"

"Yes Bella?"

"You know the age of consent is 17 in Arizona? If you ever get tired of the man in black, I'm just putting it out there that I am very consenting."

"Bella! Can we focus?"

God Jack can be such a killjoy.

"Sorry." Still I noticed Sasha was smiling in the rearview mirror.

"So this guy has super hearing and is very fast? Where the hell do you get mind reading from?"

"Sasha got close enough to read him but she felt something pushing back at her. She had never felt that before. We are pretty sure he didn't hear her. That means he must have heard her thoughts. She picked up in his head that he heard someone's thoughts before she bolted and he came after her."

"Sasha can read minds?" This gets better and better.

"Yes Bella I can." she said from the front.

"What am I thinking about right now?" I asked with a grin. It shouldn't be hard for her to guess.

"Jesus Bella do you ever think about anything besides sex?" Jack asked.

"Does a starving man think about anything besides food? It's been a while Uncle Jack." I admitted.

"Okay so let's say this guy does read minds and Sasha reads minds. What the hell makes you think I can get close to these people? If he were to read my thoughts the game would be up right?"

"That's the thing. Sasha can't read your mind. Yours is the only mind she has ever come across that she can't read. I always suspected that it was because nothing was going on in there but she thinks it's something else."

Jack was serious. I recognized that look. Sasha wasn't correcting him.

He wasn't bullshitting me.

Son of a bitch.

"Wow, you shut up. Now will you start taking this seriously?"

"Yeah I guess so. So you know they are immortal, have been around for hundreds of years and are probably very fast and have great hearing. Also one can probably read minds. This isn't a joke?"

"I wish it was Bella."

"So what exactly do you need me to do?"

"Just go to High School and see if you can make friends with the family. We think if this Edward guy can't read your mind then he may be drawn to you. From what I have learned he has only been on the radar since the early 1900s. He is pretending to be a junior. That's why I need a shrinking violet. If he has been around since that time he probably likes his women submissive and meek. In other words you are going to have to pull the acting job of the century."

"How will I know if he if he can read my mind?"

"Think of something really offensive and watch him. Shouldn't be hard for you. If you get no reaction you are probably safe from telepathy. Get him to trust you. See if you can get him on a few dates, nothing dangerous. If it looks like you are in trouble we pull you out and take him down."

"How will you know if he is dangerous?"

"We are going to place in implant right next to your eardrum. It will be coated and protected from the outside. I am pretty sure if I whisper to you, you can hear me without him being any wiser. I will hear everything you say as well. Either I or Sasha will be in your ear 24 hours a day."

"You're kidding right? I mean it sounds like I can't take this thing out."

"You can't. Once this is over we can put you under and remove it. It won't affect your hearing." Jack explained.

"So you will be listening in 24 hours a day?"

"Yes." Jack said with a smile. "So you have nothing to worry about."

"What if I want to … you know … take care of business?"

"What sort of business?"

"The kind of business that …"

"She wants to know if you are going to listen to her masturbate Jack."

"Thank you Sasha. So you will hear that?"

"You have to do that?" Jack asked.

"Well something tells me in a small town in Washington that is going to be my only option." I told him. I do have needs.

"We will not listen in. Just let us know when you need alone time."

"Sasha can listen. I don't mind." I told her with a very suggestive wink.

"Stop flirting with my wife Bella."

"So what if I get backed up and have to take a really hard dump? You going to listen to that?"

This was important information to know.

"Like I said when you need privacy we will give it to you." Jack said with a disgusted look. This was fun.

"So I don't have to start dressing like this for another couple months? I'm going to transfer in the middle of the semester?"

"I'm thinking after Christmas break. You are going to need some work to play the part. You can live with us and start getting into character. Grow your hair out, learn to stutter a bit, for God's sake start learning to act like a shy virgin girl who is into guys."

"This is going to suck. Once I figure out what he is or they are, whatever, I can head to Florida?"

"Once we have every bit of intel we think you can get then yeah, you can head to Florida."

"I can't believe I am doing this."

"Undercover. If you want a career in espionage this is the sort of thing you will be doing."

"And you don't think Arial is going to notice me going through these changes?"

"Just tell her you are trying out a different style. You said it yourself, you will look more like a lesbian."

"You said that."

"No you did Bella."

Fuck.

"Okay. I suppose we should get started. I need to go back and get my clothes and… stuff."

Sex toys.

"Don't worry. We got everything you need. Time for you to get used to dressing like the new Bella Swan. Just say by to your Mom and relax. You can home school with Sasha so your friends don't notice anything. You are going to be a natural. All you have to do is make Edward Cullen want you. How bad could it be?"

Why did I have a bad feeling about this?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 6 will be on my site tomorrow but I probably won't post anymore until after New Years. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. You guys have really made this year special for me and I thank you so much for it. Thank you.

Don't own Twilight

Chapter 2

This sucked. I can't believe he actually drove his police car to pick me up. I'm not riding in the back, I refuse. Despite mine and Arial's best efforts we have managed to avoid that little experience so far.

"Bella it is so good to see you. How was your flight?"

Still sporting the mustache Charlie. I suppose that is what passes for style around here. Good lord he has his uniform on.

"Hey Dad. Good to see you. The flight was fine." I answered quietly. Awkward. I needed to remember to be awkward. Even with my own father. Stay in character Bella.

"Thats good. Yeah, good. Uh, your boxes arrived yesterday. Your clothes and such. I was going to put them up for you but I didn't think … I mean you being a girl and all you probably didn't want me in them."

Why not? Nothing but men's clothes in there anyway. Hell even my underwear belonged on a guy. Course I did have two vibrators I snuck in.

"Yeah no problem. I can put them away when we get to your house."

"Our house now." he reminded me with a smile. I loved my father. Just keep reminding yourself of that Bella. I do. I love my father.

Fucking Renee sent me a post card last week from Florida. I love him a lot more than I love her at this point.

"Yeah, our house." I agreed with a smile plastered on my face.

"I guess we should head that way. Got a little bit of a drive ahead of us. I'm glad to see you got a coat. Kinda chilly out."

A coat? This thing belonged on an Arctic explorer. It was some sort of shade of green that went horribly wrong.

We managed to reach the car with no more conversation. That was something I loved about Charlie. He didn't prattle on about bullshit, unlike my former favorite bitch residing in Florida. I can't believe I am this pale. Jack practically kept me under house arrest for the last couple months. I felt like a trapped coal miner being rescued when I saw the sun again. I actually squinted and had to shield my eyes.

An hour into our drive Charlie took a chance at starting a conversation once again.

"So your hair has grown since the last time I saw you."

"I actually cut it since then." I said before I could stop. I suppose it was true, though. It got a bit to much length so I had it cut into a bitching style. I could part my hair over my right side and show off the awesome design shaved on my scalp just above my left ear. Of course that is gone now. I am back to being a wookie with ten pounds of hair on my head. With this constant rain I am going to have hell with frizzing.

"Oh."

Yeah.

We sat in silence for the rest of the drive. Charlie had a dopey grin on his face. I did love him. I just hated where he lived. A rain soaked dump. Did it have beautiful scenery?

Yes but nothing I couldn't enjoy on Google images. You know what else is beautiful? The women on Florida beaches. Renee managed to get a beachfront house. I hate her. Still I give her credit, how she managed to snag a professional baseball player at her age I will never know. She must have serious skills in the bedroom.

Welcome to Forks.

The sign may as well have read abandon all hope all ye who enter here.

Soon we were at Charlie's house. I say soon because everywhere in this town is so close you could cover its length by foot in ten minutes. I know. I did it on my last visit here when I was bored out of my mind.

Charlie was nice enough to grab my carry on and I followed him inside.

"Uh, come upstairs and I will … I made some changes to your room. You haven't been here in a while so I got some… sheets and stuff."

Sheets? Damn dad don't spoil me.

"Thank you." I said quietly, doing my best to remain as awkward as he was. At least I would have a person to do a character study on.

I walked into a Barney convention. Or maybe Prince's old dressing room. I couldn't tell. All I saw was purple. Purple walls, purple sheets, purple pillow cases.

"I hope you like purple. I didn't know … but I can paint it another color if you want."

"No! No I love purple." Lord knows what other color he would paint it. I suppose I should be glad he didn't go pink. I loath pink.

"Okay, good. Uh, I guess I will let you get settled in. The boxes with your things are in the closet."

"Thanks Dad."

I give him credit, he was trying. He had already done more than Renee had done for me in the past few years. It wasn't that she didn't love me. It was just because the poor thing was fucking dumb. I mean she was an airhead. Of course she was fucking a baseball player on a Florida beach and I was here so maybe I am the dumb ass.

Dad walked out and I figured it was time to check in with my handler / slash former favorite extended relative.

"Phoenix to Dodo bird. Come in Dodo bird. Do you copy?"

"There is no reason to ask if I copy. I always copy. Why are you calling me Dodo bird?"

"If I'm the Phoenix you need a bird name as well. I'm thinking Dodo bird is appropriate because at this moment I wish you were extinct."

"Okay listen up. While you were enjoying your vibrant conversation with your father on your drive to Forks I went into your room. Go to the back of the closet."

"There are boxes in the way."

"Yeah, move them."

"You didn't think to move them when you walked in?"

"Couldn't have Charlie suspicious. Go to the back of the closet."

I pulled the heavy boxes full of horrible clothes out and sat them on my bed. Walking to the back of the closet I saw … a wall.

"This is exciting Jack. A secret agent wall."

"Tap on the wall three times gently. The sound will activate …"

I hit the damn wall three times, not needing further explanation. Part of the wall around one foot by two foot dropped down. I saw a keyboard on the bottom with small black bag on top of it and a monitor facing me.

"Charlie only has dial up internet. This will be your console for research and to contact me with any documents you need to send me or emails. It is completely secure. It also has a wireless modem with a very discrete clear antenna drilled through the wall on the outside of the house. Do not use that old computer on the desk to send me email if you need to for some reason. The package on the keyboard is your cell phone."

I pulled a phone out of the little black bag on top of the keyboard and what the fuck?!

"This is an I Phone 5." I told him in case he didn't realize it.

"Yes it is. It is secure as well. Throw away your old phone or hide it and only text me with this one."

"This is an I Phone 5." I reminded him once again.

"So?"

"I have an I Phone 6. You seriously expect me to downgrade to this? Bring disco and bell bottoms back while you are at it."

"Sorry, I didn't have time to get an I Phone 6."

"You hunt aliens and you didn't have an I Phone 6 lying around?"

"Look the phone will work. Can we focus now? Keep your I Phone 6 and you can use it after this is over. Now the next thing …"

"Did you at least download my playlist?" I asked.

"I don't know. Sasha may have. I saw her in your I Tunes account earlier. Now …"

"Hold on." I ordered.

I checked the phone. My apps weren't there. Damn it. I would have to download all my games again. Okay don't panic … there is a God. My playlists were present and accounted for. Thank you Sasha you sexy bitch.

"Okay We are good. Now what were you saying?"

"I was able to get you into an afternoon class with Edward. Biology. He doesn't have a lab partner so you shouldn't have a problem sitting next to him. Thats the only class i could get you into but it is the one you should be able to talk the most in since you will be close to him in a lab setting rather than a lecture."

"Great Jack. Where did you hide my gun?"

"What gun?"

"Seriously? You are sending me to meet and conversate with an unknown entity and you didn't get me a gun?"

"You can't take a gun into school Bella."

"Why not? I did in Phoenix."

"What?! What the hell were you doing taking a gun into a high school?"

"Uh hello? Haven't you heard of school shootings? If some emo kid in a hoodie carrying a shotgun walks into my classroom I'm blowing his ass away. Aren't you the one who told me to always be prepared for the worst case scenarios?"

"Please tell me Arial doesn't carry a gun to school."

"Arial doesn't carry a gun to school."

He did say please. If he wants to live in denial who am I to stop him? Of course she carries a gun. Who else would I trust to watch my six in case there were multiple emo kids?

"Okay, make yourself at home, unpack and pick out your outfit tomorrow. Wear what ever you want in those boxes."

"Gee thanks. So who has the night shift?"

"Sasha will be listening during the night. We are going to take turns. I will always be with you though when you are at school."

"Cool, i was planning to get myself off later tonight. She can listen. You think she would rather hear me in bed or in the shower?"

"Shut up Bella. Pretend I'm not here. Please pretend I'm not here."

"I love you too Uncle Jack."

I moved to my boxes of Goodwill clothes and prepared to bury these things in the dresser when I heard it.

A motor. An ancient motor. Walking to my window I looked down and saw an ugly beast of a truck. God I feel sorry for whoever has to drive that. Some stick figure kid with very long hair who looked Quileute was helping an older Indian dude into a wheelchair.

Damn it, Charlie stuck his head in the door and yelled my name.

I suppose I should go make nice. Okay Bella, look shy and awkward. You can do this.

I walked slowly outside with my best shy smile.

"Bella you remember Billy Black?"

Oh yeah, the handicap guy Charlie always takes fishing.

"Of course. How are you Billy?"

"I'm doing good Bella. Charlie hasn't stopped talking about you since you asked to move down here. I haven't seen him this excited in years."

"Hi Bella."

I took in the long haired skinny kid and didn't know who the hell he was.

"I'm Jake?"

Okay…

"You used to make mud pies with him as a kid." Jack's voice rang out.

"Mud pies?" I asked, forgetting no one could hear Jack.

"Yes! You do remember!" his smile lit up his very young face.

Oh shit he's a puppy dog. I recognized that look. He wants to hump my leg.

"Yeah of course, Jake. Its good to see you again."

"So Bella what do you think of the truck?" Charlie asked, patting his hands on it's bed.

I think it needs to be filled with explosives and used as a car bomb.

"It's great."

"It's yours. I bought it off Billy, Jake fixed it up. I didn't think you would want to be dropped off at school everyday in a police car."

"Wow. It's mine? You shouldn't have Charlie!"

You really shouldn't have.

Seriously.

I could hear Jack snickering in my ear. Could he see me? Of course he can. I'm sure the men in black have satellites.

"Hey don't thank me kid. Consider it a welcome home present."

"Thanks! Oh my God this is so cool."

I hate you Jack. Your little Majestic 12 is so buying me a Corvette convertible when this is over.

"Come on Bella, I'll show you how to drive it. The clutch sticks a little."

Clutch? Excellent. I could drive a standard. Arial and I went through a street racing phase when we first got our licenses and saw Fast and Furious 5. I mean it only lasted a month and Jack wasn't very happy with what we did to her Miata, having the supercharger installed. Plus we never won a race. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Maybe this hunk of metal had a V 8.

I sat behind the wheel and was instantly confused. There was no stick.

"Where is the shifter Jake?"

"On the steering column."

Oh.

That's different.

After ten minutes I felt I had this down. It sucked but I had it down. Apparently this bitch only had a V 6. Looks like no street racing in the rain for me. Speaking of, the rain was back. Big surprise.

"If it ever gives you problems let me know and I can fix it. I pretty much got it running again."

"Thanks," fucker.

I walked inside, Jake following me with his tongue wagging I'm sure. I was for once glad I had on loose jeans and a long coat. If he actually got a look at my ass he would be over every day. I'm not being conceited. I worked hard for this ass.

"Hey Bella there is some of Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry in the kitchen. Grab you some and come watch the ballgame with us."

Damn, that sounded like an offer I couldn't refuse. Football.

Maybe they would show a few shots of the cheerleaders.

Walking into the small kitchen I saw a paper bag with grease literally soaking the bottom. Slowly approaching the bag, I nearly screamed when I opened it.

There was some sort of fish in there. It was fried I think. Not grilled or blackened but fried to a crisp with hot grease that still resides in it.

I was not eating this.

"I am not eating this."

"You should give it a shot Bells. It's delicious." Jake said, walking in. I suppose he heard me.

"Bells?"

"Yeah, me and my sisters used to call you that when we were all kids."

"Sisters?"

"Rachel and Rebecca." Jack informed me.

"Rachel and Rebecca?"

"Yeah who else? I mean you remember them right?"Jake asked.

"Of course."

not. I blocked most of my memories of living here. It's what young people do when exposed to traumatic events.

Jake grabbed a couple plates and sat one in front of me.

"Uh Jake why don't you grab some food and I will be in the living room in a bit. I want to tidy up the kitchen."

"Sounds good. It will be great for Charlie to have a woman around. He can be kind of messy sometimes." he told me with a wink.

Of all the pig headed things, to assume I am cleaning his fucking mess up behind him. Jake walked out and I spoke to the voice in my head.

"I am going to eat a small piece of what used to be some sort of fish. I want sushi tonight at the front porch at ten PM. I will sneak out and grab it."

"There is no sushi in Forks Bella."

"If you can hook up a secure computer system in my closet in four hours you can find sushi. Also I don't cook. You know how bad I am. You are going to have to figure out some way to get delivery before Charlie gets home if you want him to think I do."

"I'll do the best I can Martha Stewart. Now go make nice with Daddy's friends."

So I made nice. Billy smiled, Charlie smiled, I smiled, I laughed when I was supposed to, I acted like I didn't notice when the cameraman decided the cheerleaders need attention for five seconds before commercial breaks, I acted like I gave a damn about football but not too much because I was clumsy and shy and didn't really know anything abut sports. It was a nice time. Jake even invited me to see him whenever I wanted.

As if.

By the end of the night I was so depressed I was ready for bed. I was hungry though. Very hungry.

"Dodo bird, did you complete your mission?"

"Your package is on the front porch, Phoenix." Sasha told me.

""Hey there sexy. How is my love bird doing tonight?"

She said nothing but I heard her giggling.

Walking quietly down the stairs I saw Charlie was passed out in his recliner. Big surprise he had a beer in his hand. I should probably take it away and wake him so he could go to bed.

Nah fuck it. He is probably used to waking up like this. He better not make it a habit. I will not live with a drunk. Renee's pot smoking was bad enough. I may like to party but I consider my body a temple. A very dangerous, sleek, sexy temple.

I opened the door, not bothering to be quiet since he was three sheets to the wind. There was my package. I knew you could do it Uncle Jack.

I walked back upstairs and damn near had an orgasm as the California roll hit my tongue. Thirty minutes later I was in bed, deciding I was too exhausted to take a shower tonight. The morning it would be.

The next morning I found myself uncharacteristically nervous. I hated this whole thing but the real mission was now beginning. I just need to stay low and be shy. Stay under the radar while trying to see if I could capture Edward Cullen's attention.

My plan to stay low ended the moment my massive beast backfired, causing all the students in the parking lot to stare at me.

Great.

I grabbed my back pack, slung it over my shoulder and tried to ignore the constant drizzle fucking up my lion's mane of dull brown hair.

Oh shit.

"Hi! You must be Chief Swan's daughter. Isabella right? I'm Eric, the eyes and ears of this shcool. I need your picture for the school paper. You are hot news."

"Get that fucking cam…"

"Bella!" Jack's annoying voice cut me off.

"I mean please don't. I really don't want the attention. And please call me Bella."

He looked so sad for a moment then his smile was back. Great, another fucking puppy. He wasn't even a cute puppy.

"Let me show you to the office so you can get your schedule. We are in a lot of the same classes."

"Gee thanks."

Fucking wonderful.

We walked to the office where some old lady gave me a schedule and tried to talk to me. I think I nodded a few times and gave her that patented shy smile, and walked off with my head down.

True to his promise Eric took me to every class.

I hadn't seen the targets yet. This school was small. Where the hell could they be? I thought I saw a flash of long blonde hair but it moved away too quickly, turning the corner before I could get a look.

In the lunchroom, it was worse. Eric practically dragged me to a table with his friends. I was introduced and smiled.

Mike Newton sort of reminded me of a golden retriever. Jessica something had great tits but not much else going for her. Angela seemed nice … and boring. Still she had potential. Take away the horrible glasses and she wouldn't look half bad. Lauren had a lot of potential, unfortunately she was in denial about her sexuality and felt threatened by my presence chasing off potential boyfriends. I don't know why. I looked like shit. I can't believe I wore this green shirt. It honestly looks like something a bowling team would wear. Give me the clown shoes and I was ready to roll strikes.

"So Eric you been taking care of my girl?" Newton asked.

"Your girl?" Eric responded.

I concurred but not for the same reason.

Suddenly I was attacked. A black kid kissed me on the cheek, said my girl and ran off before I could twist his balls off.

"Wow, I guess you are the shiny new toy." Jessica observed.

"I'm not a fu…"

"Bella!" that annoying voice in my head screamed.

"I … uh guess so." I said quietly. I really need to work on staying in character.

Suddenly the door opened and four figures walked inside.

It was them.

Yeah they were the aliens.

"That's the Cullens, the foster kids of Dr. and Mrs Cullen. He adopted all of them."

"Really? Why are they walking in slow motion?" I whispered.

They were.

My question was ignored because Jessica gasped.

I looked back to the door and saw my target.

"Thats Edward Cullen. He is the only single one, the rest of them are together. Jasper and Alice and Emmett and Rosalie. It is so weird that they live together and are together."

"Dr. Cullen could adopt me." Angela observed. "You're just jealous, Jessica."

"I am not. Bella don't get your hopes up about Edward. Apparently none of the girls around here are pretty enough for him."

"I wasn't." I really, really wasn't. Still he was beautiful. They all were. Edward was interesting. Give him breasts and cut off his dick and he would have potential. The girls were hot. I wasn't crazy about the small ones hair. I preferred a bit longer hair. The spiky thing was too butch for me but she had the body of a ballerina. Very nice.

The blonde Rosalie was even hotter than her pictures. I would seriously lick peanut butter and jelly off her abs and lower.

Shit Eddie was looking at me.

Think of something offensive.

I returned his gaze and thought of the big guy fucking Eddie in the ass.

Nope. No reaction. Wait…

I thought of Rosalie fucking Eddie with a strap on.

Still no reaction but he kept staring at me. I suppose he couldn't read my mind. After thirty seconds or so he had a confused look on his face.

Yeah you can't read my mind, can you freak?

"Oh my God Bella, Edward Cullen is staring at you." Angela whispered. I turned my head quickly back to the table.

"I don't think he is." Jessica said quickly.

"Yeah he is definitely staring at her." Mike said grumpily. Great, my golden retriever is jealous already. This is why I never want pets or kids.

I slightly turned using my ten pounds of hair to try and hide my face and really took Edward Cullen in.

Great hair, stylish clothes, looked depressed but trying his best to turn a sad face into a brooding face he hoped people would find mysterious.

Yeah this wouldn't work.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Stepping into a stall I spoke to dodo bird.

"Jack he is gay. I can't get him interested in me."

"How do you know he is gay?"

"You have to see him up close. Everything about him screams frustrated gay guy."

"Then you two have something in common. Take him shopping."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, Uncle asshole."

"Look he may just be a pretty boy. Give it a shot. Did you see if he could read your mind?"

"Yeah I thought about him taking it up the ass by the big guy and then by the blonde and he had no reaction other than staring at me. I think he was trying to read my mind and couldn't."

"Perfect. You have gym next right? Then Biology?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, remember not to do well in gym. He may be watching. Clumsy and awkward."

"What the hell? Schooling these punks in gym was the only thing I was looking forward too."

"Bella…"

"No. Arial and I were all district volleyball players as sophomores Jack. I am not… no… volleyball is my game. Im the best athlete in this school not to say its a big accomplishment here."

"Undercover. When you are in Palestine one day are you going to be this hardheaded? Seriously?"

Damn it.

"Fine."

I flushed the toilet and walked back into the cafeteria. Lauren was walking towards me, tray in hand, sneering.

I walked into her tilting her tray into her chest.

"Oh my God Lauren I am so sorry. I am so clumsy!"

"I'm fine!"

Lauren bent down to pick up her tray. I let her then bent down as well. When her head raised I head butted the back of her skull.

"Oh I am so sorry. I was just trying to h …h…help." There is that stutter. Yeah she is rubbing the back of her skull. Hope she doesn't pass out.

"Just stay away from me!"

Wow. Hostile. Hope she can get that chocolate milk stain out of that lovely blouse.

Walking into gym in this horrible gym outfit I saw Dodo was right. Everyone apparently has gym at this time. Not surprisingly the Cullen kids sat on the bleachers across the gym in their normal designer outfits. I suppose Dr. Cullen made up some excuse for them to sit around and not have to participate. I wonder why? Freaky speed or was it more than that?

Ugh these shorts annoyed me. I looked so good in my Nike Pro spandex shorts I wore playing volleyball. These things just kind of hung there. Plus I was ashamed of my pale legs. God I need a tan. Why couldn't Jack need me for a mission in the Middle East? At least I would get sun there.

"Hey Arizona, I thought everybody from there had dark tans?" Asshole Mike observed.

"Maybe thats why I got kicked out." I answered, secretly wanting to shove a knife into his pale pasty gut.

So I stood back and watched from the back line while everyone around me had fun trying to play volleyball.

The ball came towards me. I looked and saw Mike on the next court playing basketball.

I let the ball drop and instead of hitting it back, I twisted my body and spiked that fucking ball into his head. He nearly fell down but saved himself at the last second.

"Nice shot Bella." Jessica said from somewhere that didn't matter.

"Mike I am so sorry."

"No problem Bella. Maybe I could help you out sometime with volleyball."

"I could use some help too Mike." Jessica added in. If she is so into this guy she has more serious issues than I thought. Of course looking around I would imagine a girls options were very limited.

"I'm just not very good at sports I suppose." I said quietly. Acting job of the century? Yeah I could pull it off.

"Bella would you chill out and remember why you are there?" Jack requested.

"Hey why aren't the Cullen's having to play?" I asked Mike.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Supposedly they all have some sort of condition. It has to do with the weird gold eyes as well."

"Gold eyes?"

"Yeah I guess you didn't notice but they all have gold eyes. No one knows what the condition is but apparently Dr. Cullen cleared it with the principle so they get to do homework during this period."

"That is interesting. So they always have gold eyes. I figured they must be contacts of some sort." Jack commented.

The pictures Jack had were always from a distance or out of focus, enough to give us an idea of their faces but never close enough to notice something like that. Very interesting.

Gym ended thankfully, allowing me to get out of these horrible clothes. The next class was the important one.

Biology.

Walking in I couldn't help but think how pathetic this was. It was cold outside but the heating unit in this school was so outdated it was burning up in this room. A fan was blowing from the front towards the students, I suppose to make sure they didn't pass out from the heat. I felt it's blast when I walked in front of it to get the teacher to sign my form saying I actually showed up to this horror show.

"Have a seat next to Edward there. He needs a partner."

Disco.

I walked over, head down, and even stumbled a bit. Sitting down I saw him turn away. This guy looked pissed. I quietly introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Bella. Bella Swan."

He didn't say a word, turning away from him and placing his hand over his nose.

What the fuck? I smell awesome. Jackass.

I said nothing else to him. He seemed to move as far away from me as possible. I caught him looking at one point and noticed his eyes weren't gold. They were black. Very, very black.

Yep, he's an alien. Congratulations Bella, just convince Jack and you are on the first flight to Florida.

Eddie sat and didn't appear to be moving. He didn't appear to be breathing.

The bell rang and before I could blink he was gone.

Damn.

"Great job Bella. Way to get to know him." Jack sarcastically observed.

"I tried. He wasn't moving and had his hand over his nose the whole time. He looked like he was in pain." I whispered, hoping no one noticed me talking to myself.

"Did you fart or something?"

"I don't think so. Look I have to get to the office and turn this form in. We can talk more when I get to Charlie's."

I walked into the office and saw Eddie there. He was arguing with the lady at the front desk about changing classes. She told him he couldn't because there was no room in any other classes.

He turned and saw me. That wasn't a happy to see you look.

Bastard nearly ran into me as he rushed out.

What an asshole.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Twilight. If I did I could remember what happened a lot better.

A/N Okay I am sorry for not following up on this and Chasing Bella. Because of my switch to a Mac it is a pain in the ass to load to doc manager at home so I am doing this at work. I will probably finish Chasing Bella on my site and then borrow a PC and spend one whole day placing the whole thing here. Today I have for you Spygames 3 and 4. I think I am up to 8 on my site and like Chasing Bella I will probably finish it there before I post it all here. I know most people have reviewed it there and thanks to those who are reviewing here as well. I'm having a lot of fun writing it. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3

So the first day of school was a success. Found target, moved in on target, target thought I stunk so badly he ran out of classroom and tried to change classes. Plus I am supposed to seduce him and he is most likely gayer than I am.

On the bright side …

Nope, fuck it. No bright side.

Charlie called when I returned to my home base and informed me that we would be sharing a lovely home cooked meal at the Forks Diner. Nothing says father daughter bonding time like eating in a grease pit surrounded by everyone else in town who couldn't cook or was too damn drunk too.

Not that I could say much. Renee and I lived off food prepared by others since she couldn't cook and I didn't want to. Still we had a lovely delivery service that brought us organic foods, specialty salads and fish platters, low carb, high protein sandwiches, and tofu was always good to have on hand. Not very tasty but filing and added nothing to my thighs. Sushi was also a must have.

Walking into the diner I was unsurprised when every conversation stopped and all heads turned towards me. I had walked into an episode of Ax Men. Everyone had some sort of wool cap on and flannel shirt. I'm surprised Jack didn't make me wear one.

I gave a slight smile, dropped my eyes to the floor and like magic the conversations started up once more.

"You must be Bella Swan. The Chief's daughter?" A waitress asked. She looked nice enough. Kind of tall, around 5'10 but she carried it well. Looked like a 34 B if I had to guess. Once I reached her face I wasn't too disappointed. Pretty enough especially for this area. Her hair was in a very tight bun though. Strangle it why don't you? I bet she didn't shave either, least not where it counted. I hated hair on my food.

"Yes ma'am. Thats me. Bella." I said quietly, barely meeting her eyes.

"Let me show you to your Daddy's table. He should be here any moment."

Charlie had a table? Jesus how often did he come here? He should be thankful I am going to pretend to cook for him.

Instead of perusing the menu I observed the people in the diner. Most were old men and looked like loggers. I knew there were a lot of mills around here, or tree murderers as I called them. They should live in Phoenix for a while and maybe they would learn to appreciate trees.

Florida has beautiful palm trees. I saw it on the second postcard that bitch Renee sent me.

Every now and then, one of the old men would sneak a look at me but once I caught their eye, they turned away. I suppose they were afraid of Daddy. Speaking of…

"Hey Bells. Sorry I'm late. You been here long?"

"Hi Dad. Nope, just got here."

The waitress handed him a menu before his ass hit the seat. If this had been a five star restaurant I would have been impressed with how he was treated.

"Great. You are going to love the food here."

I opened the menu and found exactly what I expected to find.

Dead cow, fried dead cow, deader cow, t bone from a dead cow, dead cow ribeye … oh look we have dead pig. Yum yum.

"Teri I think I'll have the usual."

"RIbeye and loaded baked potato. What about you honey?"

"Salad."

"And what else?"

"Uh, I think I'm good with just a salad."

"Come on Bells, you cant live on just vegetables."

Yes you can, walking clogged artery.

"Not really hungry Dad. I would hate to waste food. It would be sinful." I added. Jack laughed in my ear.

"Okay Honey. I'll get a chef salad for you. Get a little meat on it for you."

Gee thanks bitch. I said a salad not lettuce topped with five thousand calories.

"So how was the first day of school? Nobody gave you a hard time did they?"

"No Dad, everybody was very welcoming." and in heat. Except for the one guy I was here for. He thought I stunk.

"Glad to hear it." he said smiling like he won the lottery. I love my Dad. I did. I love my Dad.

"Uh I heard what you said about sinful and all that. Is there some sort of church we should be attending? I mean I will take you to whatever … church you want to go to. If you want."

"No I'm good Dad."

Most churches think my kind will burn in hell. I'm good.

"Okay. I know Renee is sort of spiritual."

"Yes I think Wicca is her religion this month. She tends to cycle through them."

"I see. Okay then, you should really look over the menu a bit more. I tend to eat here a lot unless you cook?"

I love my father. I love my father.

"Yeah I was going to talk to you about that. I think I will go ahead and take over kitchen duty, if that is alright. I think you are probably tired of the same thing."

He smiled. Of course he did. He thinks he scored a Betty Crocker.

"That would be great Bella. That would be really great."

"No problem. As a matter of fact if you give me a hundred dollars I can probably get enough groceries for the week. It would be cheaper than what you are spending here every week."

"Sounds reasonable. I can give you that much."

"I'm having meals delivered to your house Bella. There is no reason for him to pay a hundred dollars a week." Jack added like I didn't know.

"I know." I whispered. Like I wasn't going to pocket that cash. Jack isn't paying me. A girl has to make a living. Besides if I was really buying groceries that would be about how much they would cost.

"You say something Bella?"

"I was just saying I can go tomorrow after school."

"Great. So what are you gonna cook tomorrow night?"

"I'm not sure. I'm thinking …"

"Spaghetti." Jack informed me

"Lobster."

"I am not bringing you lobster."

"Yes, I am definitely going to boil lobster. I am sure that can happen if I try hard enough. Maybe some nice corn on the cob and some fresh spinach greens."

"Wow. I didn't know you could do all that. It sounds delicious. Healthy too."

"Believe me Dad I can make it happen. I would hate to disappoint me with the first meal I cook. I'm quite the homemaker. I took care of the cooking and cleaning at our house in Phoenix."

I opened the door for the maid and let her in. I also ordered takeout and tipped the delivery guy.

"Thats very responsible of you Bella. I am proud of you."

"Oh don't mention it Dad. It's the least I can do, especially since you have opened your home to me. We are going to start eating much healthier. Nothing is too good for you."

"You know how much work it is going to be to find a place to deliver lobster?" Jack whined. I wonder if he knows how hard it is to do my hair?

"Bella I am so glad to have you here. I know we haven't really spent much time together while you were growing up but I plan to make up for that."

"I'm glad we have the chance also Dad."

I really did. Did it suck to live here? Absolutely. But it would be nice to find out who this man is who helped create me. I could tell he was more responsible than Renee. I still missed that bitch though. I missed Arial. I missed my school. I missed Florida even though I never made it. I missed my bootie call Tanya. I missed the clubs in Phoenix. I missed the sun. I really missed the sun.

We ate dinner in silence. Once we arrived home I saw another box by our door. It was pretty heavy so Charlie offered to carry it.

"Those are your books. Enjoy." Jack informed me. Thank God.

"These must be my books Dad. I was afraid they got lost in the mail."

"Oh great. I'm glad you have them. I'll be watching TV downstairs if you want to join me later."

"Wouldn't miss it Dad."

I tore into that box. I had a great collection of Harper Bliss to keep me warm at night. I loved to read erotica.

What the fuck?

"Jack where are my fucking books?"'

"Yeah I didn't think lesbian erotica was quite appropriate for your cover so I changed things up a bit."

"Jane Austen? Romeo and Juliet? That is horrible. Its everything wrong with heterosexuals. They have sex once and are ready to die over it. Both of them were idiots by the way. Wuthering Heights? Have you ever read this book? I did in school once. I was forced to and it was horrible. I mean very, very obsessive fucked up scary. Every character in that book was horrible."

"There is a book of poetry."

"Fuck poetry! You ever tried to get off on poetry? I want my books. My fucking books."

"Look at it as a chance to expand your mind. You don't have to read it, just leave them lying around."

"You suck Jack. You really suck."

I said nothing else to Uncle Dodo. He was just being an asshole now. Romeo and Juliet? Seriously?

I needed to work out some frustration. I changed into these fucking boy shorts and started one arm pushups. Once i finished with those I did Tai Chi. I needed to find a dojo here. Maybe I could set something up in the woods.

After twenty minutes of that I was ready for Yoga.

Then it was sit ups. On my hundredth sit up my abs were burning. My feet were planted under my bed for support and they hit the ground hard.

Footsteps up the stairs. Running quickly.

Door slams open.

"Bella are you okay? I heard something hit the… why are you on the ground?"

"Uh … I was sitting on the bed and fell off. You know how clumsy I am."

"Oh right. Why are you sweating?"

"I uh … am having hot flashes. Most women get them …" during menopause. I was willing to bet he didn't know that though.

"Oh right. I knew that. You need some pills or something? Advil maybe?"

"No Dad I'm not having my per…"

"Bella …"

Damn Jack is no fun.

"I'm feeling fine. It will pass."

"Okay. Just be careful huh? Don't want you hurting yourself. Renee would never …"

Give a damn.

"Let me live it down."

"I'm fine Dad. No worries. Let me take a shower and I will watch some TV with you."

"Great. What about homework?"

Yeah the curriculum here leaves quite a bit to be desired. I passed this shit when I was in fourth grade. Something tells me no Harvard alumnist has ever walked through the hallowed halls of Forks High School.

"Already did it in school Dad."

"Great. I'll see you downstairs."

Okay.

"Way to blame the clumsiness."

"Why am I lying to my father again, Dodo?"

"You need to stay in character at all times. You probably shouldn't be working out. We don't know what kind of skills these entities have."

"I'm not sacrificing my figure for this mission. The Cullens will have to get over it."

Atter my shower where I had a little self gratification warning Jack and pretending Sasha was listening, I finished off the night watching the news with Charlie. He seemed to be worried about some animal killings on the other side of the state. I really didn't see the big deal since it wasn't near us.

"Bella just be careful in the woods. You aren't in Phoenix anymore."

No shit.

"There are animals that can kill you in the forest. Never go alone. Always let me know when you are going. If you really want to go hiking I will go with you."

"Or you could give me a gun." I suggested. Charlie laughed. He fucking laughed. I swear if you put me on a range with him I would out shoot him any day.

"Bella you just fell out of your bed. I doubt you could handle a gun."

"Yeah you are probably right Dad."

I loved my father. I loved my father.

"I might get you some pepper spray though. Let me see what I can find at the station."

"Sounds good. I need to get to bed." I kissed his cheek because I did love him.

I did.

The next day at school was the same as the first until lunch. At lunch I heard the best and worst news since I arrived.

"Edward isn't here." Jessica informed me. She would be the one who keeps track of all dicks in this school.

"Yeah what did you do to him yesterday Bella? He looked like he wanted to kill you." Mike asked. Maybe he did. I need to get a knife if I'm not going to have a gun. Just in case I needed to gut that fucker when he came back. If he came back. His family was here and they weren't trying to hide the fact that they were staring at me. The hot blonde was sneering, the big guy looked amused, the little one kept spacing out and the blonde dude looked like he was constipated. Nothing different than yesterday. If that blonde girl would relax I could wipe that sneer off her face.

Stay in character. You are straight Bella. Straight and shy so don't shoot the finger at these rude fuckers.

Looking a bit closer I noticed they all had food on their plate but not one was eating. They were moving food around their trays but not one had taken a bite.

"I have no idea what I did. Maybe he just didn't want a lab partner."

I texted Jack that these fuckers didn't eat. Yeah they are aliens.

I arrived home at 4 PM. Charlie worked till 6. At 4:!5 a knock on the kitchen door was right on time. My maid walked in and quickly cleaned the house, placing the wash in the machine and putting the clothes in the dryer before she left. At 5:15 she was leaving and the delivery man arrived, with lobster and corn, instructing me to place it in warm water in a large pot on the stove. I looked at him like he was stupid and reminded him that wasn't what he was paid for.

He put the lobster in the pot and ran out the back door just as Charlie was walking in the front. Jack is going to have to send the guy earlier. I also need to remind him that I promised spinach and I hate to not follow through on my promises.

"Wow Bells, this place looks great. Did you dust?"

"I think so." I told him.

"Did you do the windows?"

"Yeah, you don't mind do you?"

"Of course not. Wow, you weren't kidding. That lobster looks amazing."

"Hey only the best for you Dad. I worked pretty hard today but I think it turned out nicely."

"It did." he kissed me on the forehead and sat down at the table.

"Dad?"

"yeah?"

"I don't fix plates."

"Oh I'm sorry Bella. I'm so used to eating at the diner I forgot."

"It's really no problem. Do you think you could do the dishes after dinner? I am kind of tired from cooking and cleaning and I have homework that I need to get done." May as well set the ground rules now. I certainly am not doing dishes after I faked cooked dinner.

"Absolutely. It's the least I can do in appreciation of your hard work."

While Charlie did the dishes I snuck into his room on a clandestine mission.

"Bella what are you doing?"

"Nothing involving the mission Dodo so shut up or put your wife on."

I checked the drawers and had no luck.

Under the bed?

Nope, just dust. I would have to talk to the maid about that.

I gently opened the closet. Nothing on the floor. For a single guy who lives by himself till recently he certainly goes to great lengths to hide his reading material.

Top of the closet.

There is a God and he has blessed me.

The man has every Playboy for the past three year. I took the bottom two issues and walked quietly into my room. Surely he wouldn't miss those.

"Hey love bird you there?"

"Yes Phoenix. How can I help you tonight? Do you need privacy?"

"No, just wanted to hear your sexy voice."

"I'll give you privacy Bella. Have fun and get some sleep."

"Night Sasha."

"Good night Bella."

I would pretend she was still listening.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I did manage to 'cook' a Chicken Carbonara one night and a slightly seared salmon with my damn spinach greens and baby carrots along with simpler but healthy meals the rest of the week.. It turns out I am an amazing cook. At least I am amazing at promising Charlie meals and Jack is amazing at finding them. The maid came once more and I talked to her about dusting under the beds. All in all I would have to say I was a great house keeper.

Edward never showed back up but Jack would not let me leave, instead insisting I sat where I could keep an eye on the Cullens all week. True to form everyday they filled their trays with disgusting cafeteria food and moved it around on the plate rather than taking a bite.

I also noticed one other little interesting tidbit. The one who looked constipated, Jasper, was often not breathing. HIs chest did not move and he didn't even attempt to take a breath. He also didn't blink.

The Cullens were definitely becoming more interesting. I would think even aliens needed to breathe. Maybe they were androids? Terminators sent back to kill Jessica before she reproduced some type of offspring with Mike? One could only hope.

The weekend was uneventful. Jack debated having me drive out near the Cullen mansion and trying to get a few photos using the surrounding trees as cover and then decided it was too risky. Instead I would continue to do as I was doing. Watch a weird family of albinos not eat or breathe at high school. Fun, fun, fun.

Monday things got interesting.

The day started off bad. There was some sort of white cold substance falling from the sky. I believe people who live in cold areas called it snow. Kidding. I knew it was snow. Jack reminded me to be clumsy and slide around a bit. Kiss my ass Jack.

I also noticed Charlie had placed chains on my tires. At first I thought he was pulling a prank until Jack explained these chains were necessary to drive in the snow. I was touched that he would do this for me. He really was a sweet man.

Once I arrived at school I found the children throwing snowballs at each other. The Cullen 'children' were also throwing snowballs but only at each other. If one hit me, I would be practicing a spin kick on the motherfucker that threw it, cover be damned. For once I was very glad I had ten layers of clothes on. Now I just needed a burning trash can and my disguise would be complete.

I was hit by a snowball.

I growled and prepared to improve Eric by turning him into a woman.

"Bella!"

Fucking Jack. Fucking spy satellites.

At lunch things got better though. Edward Cullen was back and I definitely had his attention. He wasn't looking at me like I kicked his favorite puppy but he was definitely looking.

Maybe I could seduce this fucker but I would hang back this time. Play a little hard to get and make him speak to me.

It didn't take long. I walked into biology and saw him sitting at our little table. I did my best to sniff my armpits without being noticed and satisfied, I sat next to him, turning my head away from him.

"My name is Edward Cullen. You are Bella Swan, correct?"

I looked at him, almost in shock that he would speak to a lowly peasant such as myself.

"Yeah, thats me. How did you know I liked to be called Bella?"

"I've heard the other students speaking of you. I apologize for being rude the last time. I wasn't feeling well."

"You were gone last week." must have been a hell of a cold.

"Yes, I had some personal business to attend to."

"I see. Hey what happened to your eyes?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your eyes? I could have sworn they were gold last week but in this class they were black. Now they are gold again."

"I think it's the lights of the school causing them to appear different colors."

Bullshit.

Mr. Biology, whatever the hell his name was, passed out our assignments.

I grabbed the microscope, accidentally brushing Edwards's hand.

Ouch!

Fucking static electricity. I noted the fucker was wearing a wool sweater. Figures.

I also noticed that his hand was very, very cold.

"I'm sorry."

"No problem." I told him with my patented shy smile.

Taking the microscope I took a split second to call out anaphase.

The bitch asked if he could check.

"Anaphase."

"Yeah like I said." I tried to hold the irritation in my voice back so Dodo didn't scream in my ear.

He took the next one and called out prophase. I sarcastically asked if I could check. Dodo cleared his throat. Done with the assignment we waited for the other idiots to stumble through the lab. Mr. Biology walked up and asked the target why he didn't let me do any of the work.

Pig.

To Cullen's credit he gave me the props I deserved. Mr. asshole asked if I had done this lab before.

"Yes sir."

in fifth grade.

Walking out of class to my happiness and joy Edward walked by my side and continued to carry on our vibrant conversation.

"So how do you like Forks?"

"I don't."

"Bella …"

Shut up Jack.

"Why not?"

"Because I hate the cold and the rain."

"Then why move to the wettest place in the United States?"

Damn get up in my business why don't you? Not like we haven't known each other forever.

"My mom got married."

"You didn't like the guy?"

"He was nice enough." for a screamer. Combined with Renee's loud mouth in bed I spent a lot of time at the pool.

"Then why not stay?"

Wow. Let's not get personal or anything.

"Because he is a baseball player and my mother wanted to travel with him. She was being held back by me so I moved so she could travel."

That fucking bitch isn't traveling any farther than the beach. She is probably screwing a cabana boy while Phil is away. I could be screwing a cabana girl right now.

"So you moved to make her happy, even though it made you unhappy?"

No I moved because of promises made by my uncle that he better follow through with or I would hunt him to the ends of the earth.

"Yes, that's right."

"I'm sorry if I am prying."

Then why are you doing it?

'No problem. I'm an open book."

"On the contrary, I find you very hard to read."

Good to know.

"I guess I better go. I need to clean and cook dinner before my dad makes it home."

The maid was scheduled to come fifteen minutes earlier today.

"You cook and clean for your father?"

"Of course." I lied.

I walked across the parking lot and noticed the snow had turned to ice. Wonderful. Nothing like driving a one ton hunk of metal across ice.

That night I typed a report for Jack that he insisted on, even though he heard everything that went on. Tomorrow would be my turn to ask questions.

When I parked I noted I was early so I stood in the cold and put my earphones on. I found this annoyed Jack to no great end as he had to listen to my music blaring whatever little listening device he spied on me with.

I caught sight of the Cullen's across the parking lot. Eddie looked panicked.

A noise in front of me told me why.

A fucking van was sliding my direction sideways.

Son of a bitch idiot kids.

I dropped my backpack hit the ground and rolled under my truck. The van would hit the truck and stop. With any luck my damn truck would be totaled. The gas tank was on the other side so I shouldn't have to worry about sparks. I pressed myself in the ground keeping my hot ass from being hit by the axle when the van struck.

I never heard the collision. I peaked my head out under my truck and saw Edward Cullen, with his hand on the van. The van dented around his hand. He stopped that fucker.

Impressive.

He was looking at me with a look I couldn't describe. It was definitely strange.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Just rolled under my truck. No big deal. Hey did you just …"

Eddie jumped onto the bed of my truck. I pulled myself out from under in time to see the population of the school running towards me. All except the Cullens. They looked extremely pissed.

Fuck you guys too.

"Bella I am so sorry."

Huh?

Oh yeah, Tyler.

"Bella are you okay?" Jack asked. I suppose my head phones fell out during my roll. Oh shit.

Okay my phone was good.

"Yep, perfect."

So Tyler was the asshole who can't control a van on ice. Way to almost flatten someone. If I hadn't been trained to react quickly to any situation I could have been crushed.

Within a few minutes an ambulance and Charlie had shown up.

That lying fucking bitch Edward told everyone he knocked me out of the way but I had sustained a head injury. Of course Charlie bought it and insisted I be taken to the hospital.

In the ER room I did my best to convince Charlie I was fine while he threatened Tyler in the next bed, separated by a hanging sheet.

Then I saw him. Once of the two targets I had not met yet. Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

Yep, he's an alien. How the hell has no one in this town found it weird that they all have the same eye color and were incredibly pretty?

"I heard the Chief's daughter was here." he said with a smile.

I have a name fucker. It's Bella, not the Chief's daughter.

"I feel fine …" I argued and he shined a light in my eye regardless. I thought I had to consent to treatment.

"Looks like just a slight bump. I am sure you will be fine but let me know if you feel any pain or have any dizziness or disorientation."

"Mention Edward saving you." Jack told me.

That fucker didn't save me. I would have been fine without … fuck it.

"Yeah I would have been seriously injured if Edward hadn't saved me. He got there so fast. He was across the parking lot one moment and then in front of me the next."

"Your son Edward, Carlisle?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, I'm sure you were very lucky. I think she is able to go home now Chief."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen."

I walked outside and saw Edward at the end of the hall arguing with his sister, the fine as hell blonde that I could teach so much. I still can't believe she is letting that ape plow her. She looked pissed. Dr Alien walked over and joined the silent conversation. All three looked at me and Rosalie and Carlisle walked off.

"Bella you should probably call your Mom." Charlie said shyly.

"You called her?"

She gave a damn? Wow, maybe she felt a little guilt about packing my bags before my offer to move to Forks was completely out of my mouth.

Probably not.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I need to talk to Edward first though. Thank him for saving me and all. I'll be right out."

"Sounds good Bella."

As soon as he turned away I turned my back on Cullen and whispered to Jack to cancel dinner and the maid today. I suppose pizza and extra cardio it would be.

Walking down the hall Edward was waiting for me.

"Thanks for … you know. How did you get to me so fast?"

"I was right next to you Bella."

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"No you weren't. I saw you across the parking lot."

"That isn't true. You hit your head and must be confused."

"You stopped the van with your hands."

"You believe I stopped a van with my hands? No one will believe you."

No shit asshole.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone. I just want to know how you did it."

"Like I said, you had a head injury. You must be confused."

"I want to know!" I pressed.

"You can't just say thank you and move on?"

Thank you for what? I was fine.

"Thank you."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"No."

"Get used to disappointment."

He turned to walk away then stopped.

"How were you able to react so quickly? You hit the ground and rolled under your truck the moment you saw the van sliding towards you. Not many people have quick reflexes when faced with a large van sliding towards them at a high rate of speed."

"I had an adrenalin rush. You can Google it."

I walked off. It was obvious this bitch wasn't going to tell me anything. That was fine. Add super strength to the list of super hearing and speed. Add in the mind reading and I don't understand what is keeping me from Florida. Obviously aliens.

"Nice job. Adrenalin rush?"

"You would prefer I would be flattened Uncle Jack?"

'No! Couldn't you have said you slipped though?"

"Sorry, my lying wasn't up to speed. What about the information I just got? Plan on giving me any credit for that?"

"Yeah you did okay. You should see the satellite footage of that fucker. He moved so damn fast not one person in the parking lot noticed. Of course they were all looking at you but damn. I mean this fucker can move."

"Good to know. I need to go home and relax. I have had a traumatic day."

Jack left me alone and I reached the house in relative peace riding with Charlie. Apparently one of his deputies dropped my still intact piece of shit off at our house.

I called Renee at Charlie's prodding.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mom."

"Bella! I heard you were almost turned into a pancake."

"Yep."

"I told you not to move to Forks."

"No you didn't! No you did not!"

"I didn't? Oh well. You should see this place. I thought of you yesterday. Our neighbors have a daughter how goes to the local junior college. Blonde hair, the prettiest blue eyes. She wears the smallest bikinis and she has the body to pull it off. I swear I see her taking long walks on the beach with a different girl everyday. I thought, my God Bella would really love to get to know her. Such a cute little perky body and obviously into women. So other than nearly getting flattened how has life been?"

"I hate you mother."

"I know sweetie. I love you too. Please ask Charlie not to call me unless you are actually dead. My massage was disturbed by what he considered an emergency."

"I hate you mother."

"I love you too dear. Come visit me sometime. Maybe you can meet Candy."

"Her name is Candy?"

"Yes, cute isn't it?"

"I hate you mother."

I hung up the phone and stomped to my room.

"You hear that Jack? I'm missing meaningless sex with my hot neighbor. How much more information do you need?"

"We don't know what they are Bella. You have a lot more work to do."

"I hate you Jack."

That night I slept peacefully dreaming of a girl I would never meet named Candy. She was nude and just out of my reach. She was giggling. She really did have perky breasts with the sweetest pink nipples dying to be licked.

I was woken from my dream by a sound. The window opened? No, it was impossible.

I cracked my eyes open and screamed. Edward Cullen was at the foot of my bed. Grabbing my lamp on the night stand I threw it at him.

The lamp hit the wall and shattered.

I looked at the window and saw it was closed.

Was that a nightmare? How would he have moved that silently?

Charlie ran inside without knocking. I was glad I had broken my habit of sleeping naked.

"Bella what the hell happened?"

Good question.

"I had a nightmare. I thought there was a man in my room."

'What happened to your lamp?"

"What do you think? I thought a man was in my room. I threw something at him."

"Bella nobody would have been in here. I locked the front and back doors before I came to bed."

My eyes went to the window once again.

"You are probably having nightmares because of what happened today."

"Yeah that must be it Dad. Sorry about the lamp."

'No problem. I can pick you up another one. Hey when you were cleaning did you go into my closet?"

'No why?"

"I was just missing a couple magazines and I wasn't sure if you might have thrown them away."

"What kind of magazines Daddy?"

"Uh … just some Sports Illustrateds. Not a big deal. Night Bells."

"Good night."

As soon as he was gone I ran to the window. I didn't see anything unusual but I knew that fucker had been here.

"Bella?"

"Yes Sasha?"

"What was that?"

"I'm pretty sure Edward Cullen was just in my room. Are you or Jack using satellites to watch my window?"

"No, at night the satellite we use is out of position. We would have to use another NSA satellite to watch your home."

"I don't care what you do Sasha, but watch my window. That fucker was here. He was quiet and he moved faster than I could see."

"I'm on it Bella."

What is your game Edward?

I needed a gun.


	4. Chapter 4

Don't own Twilight

Chapter 4

**Spy Journal Week 1**

Dear Spy Journal,

Uncle Dodo insists I update you weekly so here I am sitting in my closet on an uncomfortable stool typing a useless summary of my week on a top secret supercomputer that is stored inside my closet wall. My life sucks. I am seriously doubting if I want to be in the CIA or Majestic 12 or any other fucking spy organization after college. I mean this crap has had it's moments of excitement but that appears to be coming to a halt. I am supposed to be finding out more information about what exactly the target, that can apparently enter my room at night silently and leave just as silently, is. Unfortunately said target has stopped speaking to me once again. I try to start conversations in biology and he refuses to speak to me. He is my damn lab partner and he won't speak to me. Instead he just completes the lab before I have a chance to look at the assignment and stares out the window the rest of the time.

Even more unfortunate for myself, is that every other person in the school has paid serious attention to me since the accident. Tyler won't leave me alone, apologizing one moment and asking to take me out the other. Why would I got out with a guy who nearly crushed me? Is he that clueless? Even if I was straight why go on a date with the one guy I know for a fact cannot drive worth a shit?

If Tyler were my only problem, I would simply kill him and hide his body in the massive forest that surrounds this little town. I have to have a license to kill right? I mean that is part of the package. It's not like Uncle Dodo is going to have me arrested for murder and blow my carefully conceived cover.

Okay I have never actually killed anyone but I imagine it can't be different than being a virgin right? You gotta pop your cherry at some point and he would be a good candidate for that little milestone. That reminds me of Charity. God the things she could do with her fingers were magic.

I digress.

In addition to Tyler harassing me, Mike Newton and Eric York or Yorkie or some crap like that, have been stalking me to the point that I could probably file criminal charges.

I swear I am close to throwing Jessica against a wall, ripping her shirt open, grabbing one of her huge breasts and shoving my tongue down her throat just to get them to leave me alone.

Who am I kidding? They would want me even more after that. Plus I have been known to turn straight girls to my way of thinking and I would simply have another stalker. Speaking of, Lauren is being so rude to me that she is actually beginning to turn me on. Same with the blonde Rosalie Hale. I still watch the aliens at lunch but they have stopped even looking in my direction. All except Rosie. She gives me such a look of contempt that I imagine the hate sex we would have would be epic. A little growing, some gentle or not so gentle biting, me with a whip, handcuffs, yelling how much we hate each other in between kisses while we grind our sweaty naked bodies together. Yeah it could totally happen.

I should probably delete that last part considering this is an official top secret government document.

Fuck it, Uncle Dodo will just have to deal.

**Spy journal week 2**

This week is no different than last week, except for one little mistake. I have betrayed my closet friend and ally. It was a complete accident but I am not sure if she will ever forgive me.

My best friend, my only true friend, a girl I consider a sister, called me. Arial finally bugged her father, who was away on an extended assignment, to give her my phone number. She knew I was in Forks but was very confused as to why I decided to move in with my father.

She asked me if I had gotten over my tom boy phase and was ready to come back to Arizona to live with her. I had to tell her no. Uncle Jack was listening in of course since I had the phone up to my left ear. He was so quiet I am ashamed to say I forgot he could hear the conversation. I should have moved the phone to my right ear. It was a huge mistake.

Arial then gave me the good news. With her father and Sasha gone, she was able to easily sneak away from Dan Hawk and had finally lost her virginity.

I was about to congratulate her until I froze. I heard a choking sound and then cursing. I heard Sasha in the back ground trying to calm Uncle Dodo down. I heard Uncle Jack break something, probably a table. I heard the cursing of Dan Hawk's name. I had never felt sorry for Dan before, but I knew what Uncle Jack was capable of. He trained me. He was a dangerous individual and I had a feeling that some poor teenage boy and Dan Hawk were in for a world of hurt.

Arial did not understand why I wasn't congratulating her.

Two days later and several secrecy agreements signed, Arial was living with Uncle Jack and Sasha in whatever house they had in Forks. Since Arial would not be able to keep her thoughts to herself, she was being home schooled.

Her life was over. I asked Sasha Thursday night if I could speak to Arial.

Sasha sadly informed me that Arial did not want to speak to me at this time.

This mission has been tragic. I have lost my style, lost my life, I haven't had sex in nearly six months and I lost my best friend.

Every night I locked my window and every night it was locked in the morning, however I couldn't shake the feeling that Edward was in my room. Little things caught my attention. A drawer closed that I had left slightly open the night before.

My underwear drawer. Pervert.

How that fucker was able to unlock my window from the outside and lock it from the outside confounded me. I suppose if he left out the front door at night he wouldn't have to relock my window from the outside but surely Charlie would notice if the door was unlocked, right? Unfortunately I found the kitchen door has a push button lock. Cullen could simply open the door, push the button and it would lock behind him.

Apparently cloud cover plus darkness made satellites useless in watching my window, especially with the tree next to it. I tried to talk Charlie into cutting down the tree. His response was he didn't like the idea of someone being able to look into my window unimpeded.

I hate my life.

**Spy journal week 3**

Arial is still not speaking to me. Uncle Jack still won't shut up. He blames me for Eddie's silence. I'm not being alluring enough.

I remind him that his little tattooed princess is no longer a blushing virgin.

I will admit the three stalkers I have are making my job more difficult. I have wanted to snap their necks so often I am afraid I will give into my deadly urges. Sasha recommended that I focus on burying my emotions and facial expressions to help me stay in character. This week I have spent countless hours in front of the mirror, practicing the blankest look I can imagine. Sasha has told me dirty jokes and I have not cracked a smile. She has told me tragic stories involving puppies and my face remains the same. I have also worked on speaking in a completely neutral tone at all times. This way I will not overreact to the idiocy I see around me or overreact and give in to the violent impulses I feel every time one of the desperate three try to speak to me.

Eddie still won't speak. I still have a feeling he is still coming in my room. At least entering my room. I hope to God he isn't coming. I nearly caught him last night. I think.

I was woken by a slight sound and immediately reached for the butcher knife I keep under my pillow. The window was closed but on closer inspection it was not locked this time and the curtains were swaying a bit.

This was getting scary. I did not like the idea that he could reach me at any time. I haven't been sleeping well. On the bright side, my constant sleeplessness has helped me maintain the blank look on my face and monotone voice I have been perfecting. I have gotten so good at this I am afraid my face will never show any emotion again.

**Spy journal week 4**

I am considering a half hearted cry for help suicide attempt to force Charlie to send me away. It wouldn't take much. It should be simple. Just a few shallow cuts to my wrist, not deep enough to cause any lasting scarring or damage. I may just find a time Charlie would come home and walk in on me with a razor blade hovering over my wrist. That should do it.

No.

He would probably think I was trying to shave my wrist for some reason. I love him but for a cop he can be really clueless at times.

I am trapped here. There is no escape and my target, the alien I need to find out information on, still refuses to speak to me. I have stopped trying as well, using my blank zombie face to stare ahead and ignore him as he has perfected ignoring me.

If I can't make any progress soon I am going rogue. I will discover Jack's hideout, break Arial free, hope she forgives me and the two of us are leaving the US. We can make it as strippers in Brazil. Escorts in Greece. Waitresses in France. I don't really give a fuck as long as I can see the sun more than once a month.

The sun did give me one clue that may mean nothing. It was sunny last Monday and the Cullen collective did not show up to school. Other than Edward's week long absence after he first met me, this was the first time any of them had missed school. Jessica let it be known that every time it was sunny, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen would pull the teens from school and take them hiking. That was absolute bullshit.

I mean I have seen the way these wannabe fashion models dress. No way those pretty aliens are hiking around the great outdoors getting sweaty and possibly causing creases in their immaculate clothes.

No those fuckers were hiding from the sun for some reason. I couldn't imagine why. I mean I would say they were vampires but come on. I know it is cloudy all the time but there is still daylight and any self respecting vampire would burn up in the sun. Plus what vampire would live forever, have tons of money and voluntarily go to high school over and over again? That would be stupid.

No they were definitely aliens. I even knew where they came from. They were from the planet whogivesafuck. It was orbited by the moon called getmethefuckoutofhere.

I'm going to go to bed. If Eddie wants to kill me in my sleep I don't even care. At least I could get some rest. I hope I dream of Candy. Renee sent me a text with a photo of her. Renee wasn't lying. She did have the cutest little perky ass.

I hate my life.

**End of Spy Journal entries for the month of February.**

Oh God, if I didn't get a good nights sleep soon I didn't know what I would do. Part of me considered putting some sort of noise makers under my window but I didn't. I mean if he can dodge a lamp and be in and out of my window quicker than I could see and stop a sliding van with his bare hands it would probably be best if I didn't wake up. What would I say? Stand still while I stab you please?

I could tell in the parking lot that school would be a nightmare today. Mike was the first one to clue me in.

"Hey Bella."

"Morning Mike."

"Hey uh … there is a school dance coming up in a couple weeks. I was wondering if you wanted to go? With me?"

Fuck off.

"In two weeks? I'm going to Seattle in two weeks."

"Oh. Couldn't you go some other time?"

Yep.

"Nope, I already made plans plus I don't really like dancing" … with boys … "I'm kind of a klutz." …that can perform a one armed handstand.

"Oh, thats cool. I guess. It sucks that you can't go."

"Hey you should ask Jessica. I know she really wants to go with you."

She has self esteem issues.

"Really? Yeah maybe I will. Talk to you later Bella."

Mike walked off, looking like I just took his testicles away. I suppose in a way I did. Still what could he do? This blank face thing I have going on makes it impossible to tell if I am being sarcastic or sincere. I was really beginning to love it.

The day passes by in typical mind numbing fashion. I wasn't even asked to participate in gym any longer. Three weeks ago I executed a perfect spike,striking Coach Clapp's head two courts to my left.

Coach Clapp. God I bet he took a lot of shit for that name, growing up.

At biology I was so shocked I almost didn't register what happened.

The great God himself Edward Cullen deemed me worthy enough to speak to.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being very rude but it's better this way., really"

I know the feeling.

"I'm sorry? I don't know what you mean." I told him using my perfect monotone voice.

"Its better if we are not friends. Trust me."

Trust you? You rifled through my underwear drawer. You were probably sniffing them you freaky little pervert.

That was the extent of my conversation with Eddie for the day but it was the most progress I had made in weeks.

On the way out of school, Eric stopped me in the parking lot.

"Hey Bella I was wondering if …"

"Heading to Seattle that weekend, no I cant reschedule, I'm a major klutz, have fun without me."

I kept walking. Reaching the truck that I hadn't figured out how to total without getting myself killed in the process, I attempted to back up only to be blocked in by a shiny fucking Volvo. That was another reason my vampire theory was shot down. What fucking vampire would drive a Volvo?

Still there was my favorite alien, preventing me from leaving.

I damn near broke my stony facade when Tyler was at my window. I rolled it down slowly hoping he would get tired of waiting and go away.

"Yes Tyler?"

"Hey I was wondering if you want to go to the dance with me in a couple weeks."

"I'm going to Seattle that weekend." I answered automatically. Sasha was right. Retreating to my hard as nails zen like state kept me from being over emotional and wanting to kill. Okay I still wanted to kill but it kept others from figuring that out.

"I heard."

"Then why are you asking?"

"I was hoping that was just something you were telling the other guys to blow them off."

And you thought I was just waiting to blow you, is that it Tyler?

"No, its true. I won't be in Forks. I have to go."

I rolled up my window and looked in my mirror to see if that asshole had moved his car. If not I planned to crush it.

He was laughing. That fucker was laughing. There was no one in front of him. He stopped behind me to give Tyler a chance to talk to me.

Edward Cullen must die. He had gone from rudeness to indifference to outright fucking with me. My original mission parameters had now changed. I know longer wanted to just know what he was. I wanted to know how to kill him.

Uncle Dodo was excited that night of course. He wasn't the one having a sleep study conducted at night by a freak.

After my nightly workout I stacked boxes from my move in front of my window. I had to get some sleep. It was imperative to my sanity. Inside the boxes I placed some plates that Charlie had yet to clean from the dinner I fake cooked tonight of blackened red fish with green beans and creamed corn, along with a few clean dishes in the bottom boxes. Let Edward sneak past that.

The next morning I felt much better until I moved the boxes. The boxes on top with the clean plates had been moved to the bottom. Oh well, at least he didn't kill me. It may be time to accidentally break that window and board it up. It was long past time.

"He talked to you yesterday. See if you can build on it today."

"Good morning Uncle Asshole."

"What happened to Dodo?"

"You narced me out to my best friend, destroyed her life and she still refuses to speak to me. Your code name is asshole until she speaks to me and accepts my apology. I did nothing different yesterday and I will do nothing different today. The more I go after this guy the more he seems to ignore me. Just shut the hell up today and let me do my job. By the way that asshole still snuck into my room last night. Why the hell don't you have that giant waste of space watching my window since he can't watch your daughter worth a shit?"

"Cullen might read his mind if he gets to close."

"So you are willing to risk my life? Besides we both know nothing is going on in Hawk's mind."

"He hasn't killed you, has he?"

"No he just sniffs my underwear. That isn't the behavior of an obsessed serial killer at all."

"You're still alive aren't you?"

"Fine, whatever asshole. Just stay out of my ear today no matter what happens. I am determined to have a good day and forget you are there, forget it is raining, and forget I live in Forks."

Without another word I trudged through my morning routine, checked to make sure my blank face was intact, picked two shirts and a faded pair of jeans along with a pair of white Sketchers and threw a flannel shirt on top of it. Yep I was ready to face the day.

As soon as I was out of my truck, I was thrown my first curve ball of the day.

Edward fucking Cullen was waiting for me.

"Morning Edward." I said carefully.

"Good morning Bella."

"What can I do for you?"

"I heard you say yesterday you were going to Seattle in two weeks. I was wondering if you wanted a ride?"

"With who?"

"With me of course."

Hell no, freak.

"Sure. That sounds okay." I told him, doing my best to sound confused. Unfortunately my monotone voice was stuck. I would have to take acting classes to ever show any real emotion again.

"Great. We can take my car."

A Volvo? Yeah I don't think so. Life may have beaten me down but not that much. I would rather drive the car bomb than ride in that thing.

"We can take my truck."

"I doubt your truck can make the trip on one tank of gas Bella."

That's right, you are driving a family car. You probably get thirty miles a gallon you fucking pussy.

"Fine, whatever. I'm a bit confused. Didn't you say you didn't want to be friends?"

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be. But I am tired of staying away from you Bella."

Really? Since we are buddies how bout you let me watch you sleep some night? Of course being an alien you probably sleep in some oxygen chamber or pod of some sort.

At lunch time I was asked to a group gathering with the idiots army table.

"Bella, you have got to come to the beach with us. We are heading to La Push." Eric mentioned.

"What is La Push?"

"Indian Reservation ten miles away. Your friend Jacob and his father live there. What the hell is wrong with your memory?" Jack asked.

"It's the Indian Reservation not far from here. We were going to have a bonfire on the beach and just hang out." Angela told me sweetly. It would be so easy to seduce her. Her boyfriend Ben is more of a waste of space than Hawk is. He just kind of sits there and never says a word, beating even me in the blank face department.

"Yeah La Push. It's La…

"Shut the hell up Eric."

Oh shit. Did I say that out loud? Everyone was looking at me in shock. I guess I did.

"I mean I will go if you stop saying that." I told Eric.

Now every was smiling. Excellent. The blank face and monotone voice have saved me once again.

"Oh my God." Jessica whispered. Someone must have pulled their dick out.

"Edward Cullen is sitting alone and looking this way Bella."

I turned and saw his highness was indeed sitting apart from his court today. I caught his eyes and he beckoned me over with a finger.

No he did not. What am I, a fucking dog?

Shoot the finger at him or walk over like a good little bitch?

Swallow your pride Bella, if you have any left. Your only hope of leaving this place and having a decent senior year is to find out everything you can about him.

"Are you going to go over there?" Jess whispered.

"Hell yes you are." Jack whispered.

"I suppose I should see what he wants."

I sat down across from him and regarded him curiously.

"I'm confused. Yesterday you say it was better if we weren't friends. Today you offer me a ride to Seattle and now you are actually wanting to speak with me at lunch. What has changed?"

"I suppose you could say I am tired of being good."

"Good?" sneaking into my room at night is good?

"Yes. I was wondering if you were still having thoughts as to how I saved you from the van?"

You didn't save me you fucking asshole.

Deep breath. Go with it Bella.

"A few." your an alien.

"I would love to hear your theories."

"I have thought …" what have I thought of besides alien? "maybe you were bitten by a radioactive spider?"

That's Spiderman. He had super strength right? Sure he did.

"You are talking about super hero stuff. What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the villain?"

Villains do not dress like you or drive Volvos.

"You're saying your dangerous?"

Okay he does have freaky strength and speed plus he can apparently read minds. I will give him some credit. Draw him in Mata Hari. No wait, she got shot. Bad example.

Edward nodded. He apparently agreed that he was dangerous.

"But not bad. I don't believe you are bad."

It wasn't a lie. I'm a bad ass and I don't need any of the powers he has.

"You're wrong."

Fine, he thinks he is a bad ass. Go with it Bella.

I ate my lunch in silence while looking at his plate.

"Not hungry?"

"I'm on a special diet."

I bet he eats kittens. I didn't bother asking why the hell he got the food in the first place.

The lunch bell finally rang, putting an end to this awkward lunch.

"Well I guess I will see you in biology." I offered.

"I won't be in class today."

"Where are you going to be?"

"I will be … skipping class. You should try it sometime. It is very liberating."

You have no idea what liberation is.

"I think I will go there anyway. See you tomorrow I guess."

I completed my mentally deadening homework during gym and watched Eddie and family on the other side of the gym. He caught me and smiled. I suppose he really was tired of being good. I did my best to smile back, breaking the stony facade of my face, to the point it hurt.

I walked to biology when I was interrupted by the little annoying voice in my ear. I swear I was going to have schizophrenia when this assignment was done. I would hear voices forever.

"You need to find out why he is skipping this class. His family arrived with him. He is in his car and they aren't there. He is obviously staying."

"What do you expect me to do?"

"I don't care. Improvise."

Walking into the classroom I saw a bit of a surprise.

We were doing blood typing today. Cool. I can prick my damn finger, slide some blood on and get the hell out of here.

Unfortunately there were not enough needles so I would have to wait. Time to play the damsel in distress.

"I feel sick Mr. Banner."

Yes I had taken the time to learn his name. After discovering the coach was named Clapp I was hoping for something as entertaining. I was disappointed.

"There is always one in every class that faints at the sight of blood." he said with a chuckle. I bet you would faint when you saw the blood pouring from your throat fucker.

"I'll help Bella to the nurse, Mr. Banner." Mike offered.

Fine, no problem. I would slap his brachial artery, drag his body to the Janitor's closet and head out to the parking lot.

Once we were outside of class, I prepared to strike when I was stopped by the voice of my hero.

"I will take her Mike. Go back to class."

Before I could process this information, I found myself scooped up in Edward's arms. What the hell was this?

I went with it. Be a stone Bella and act a little sick. How to do this? I would close my eyes. It was the best sick look I could manage since my face had frozen weeks ago.

I lay on a cot while Edward explained to the nurse what was going on. Then he sat by me. Yay me.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes. The smell of blood makes me sick."

"Humans can't smell blood."

We can't. Wait did he just say humans?

"He just admitted he wasn't human." Jack whispered in my ear. No shit, thanks for the commentary. He would probably get a raise out of this. Me? I was up to $500 dollars pilfered from Charlie.

"Well … I can."

"Let me take you home."

"I have my truck here."

"No I insist. Alice can bring your truck to your house after school."

Well since you insist. Still the idea of the little girl trying to reach the gas pedal while shifting from the column made my heart pitter patter. She would be so cute.

"Okay. I guess it would be best."

He certainly knew where I lived.

Once in the car, to my surprise Edward continued to chat.

"So tell me about your mother."

She's a bitch who let me come here without so much as a second thought. When I make it to Florida I will make her pay. I will take photos of her cheating on Phil and black mail her. She will be my slave.

"She's sweet if a bit eccentric, very spiritual. What about your family? I'm an only child. It must be interesting living with so many siblings."

"Yes it is. So why did she get married to this Phil?"

"I don't know. I guess she wanted to travel and he offered her the opportunity. He is a nice guy I suppose."

For a guy. I honestly don't see how straight women do it. Constantly having a sweaty hairy body rolling them around, lying on top thrusting a hot dick inside them and making a mess. Give me a beautiful blonde with a strap on any day.

"What about you? Have you had any boyfriends?" Eddie asked.

"Nope." Finally a question I could answer honestly.

"You seem very understanding of your mother's choices. What about her? Would she be accepting of anyone you dated?"

Of course she is. She was so excited when I announced at the tender age of 14 that I was attracted to women. She was bouncing at the idea that she could march in gay pride parades. She did love her causes. I myself would not march anywhere. I don't want to get married ever and marching would ruin my heels. She certainly loved Charity, then Susan, then the one I believe was named Anya, though I'm not sure if that was her real name nor did I care. She never got to know Tanya that well since Tanya only visited when we both had an itch to scratch hard.

"Yes I don't believe she would have a problem with anyone I dated. She is very open minded."

We arrived home and Edward walked me to the door. He even said goodbye before he left.

"Finally. After all this time you have drawn him in. Good job Phoenix."

"I'm not fucking him Jack. Get that idea out of your head."

"Honestly Bella that hurts that you would think I would expect that from you."

"Just making sure we are on the same page Dodo."

I continued to sit with Edward during lunch where he bombarded me with questions about me and evaded questions about himself. I told so many lies I would need Jack to keep up with them. I really was becoming a full fledge spy. I even told him my favorite color was brown. Made that little tidbit up without a second thought and he bought it.

On Friday I asked him to hang out at the beach with me tomorrow.

"What beach?"

"First Beach in La Push."

"I don't really like that beach."

"Why not?"

"It's very crowded."

Uh huh. Something told me there was more to this story than he was letting on. He was definitely nervous. I suppose would get my answers this weekend.

"Could you do me a favor? I don't mean to offend you but you seem be one of those people who attracts danger like a magnet. So … try not to fall into the ocean or get ran over by anything … okay?"

I stumbled purposely once a day at random times. That did not mean I was accident prone. Still a van did do its best to crush me so I could see why he would say that. It just meant I was good at my job.

If he was so worried he must not be planning on following. I wonder why?

I suppose I would get my answers in La Push


End file.
